And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. Gen. 2:18 KJV
I was created by God to be my husband’s help meet.
A helper suitable for him.
This is a calling.
And I have not been fulfilling my calling as a wife with excellence. In fact, the effort and thoughtfulness with which I’ve been serving my husband in our marriage can be compared to that of a spoiled teenager forced to work a minimum wage job that she feels is beneath her in order to pay for fun things like… car insurance. You know the ones I’m talking about. You can spot these workers a mile away with the scowl on their faces, smacking away on their gum in quiet rebellion while rolling their eyes whenever someone suggests they attempt to do something “helpful’.
That’s kinda been me in my marriage lately – rolling my eyes when my hubby suggests we should probably eat dinner sometime before bed.
Does he not see that I’m incredibly busy here working on my blog? Sheesh.
And I didn’t even realize I was behaving this way. That is, until God lovingly chastened me.
On Saturday Jim was taking some time to go through the pile of mail that had accumulated on the desk. 90% of it was your average junk mail: fast food ads with coupons, offers for discounted cremation (Do they know something I don’t?), pest control specials (The day the claim to get rid of irritating neighbors is the day I’ll give them a call.), and many other misc. offers for things we will never want or use. The other 10%, however, was more important stuff like bills – all mixed in with pounds of worthless paper advertisements. So, anyway, he went through the mail, collected and opened anything that looked important.
No big deal.
Later that afternoon, Jim nonchalantly asked me if I could help him with something.
“Sure.” was my reply.
He went on to ask me if I could set aside anything that looks like a bill when the mail comes. Apparently, a couple of due dates have come and gone while I allowed the pile of mail to be fruitful and multiply. So now my hubby gets to pay about $100.00 in late fees because he married a laaay-zee woman.
I felt terrible. And the fact that Jim was so gracious about it made me feel even worser. (Yes, I know “worser” is not a real word.)
You see, when one of the kids brings the mail in, I look through it to see if there’s anything for me or anything extremely important to my survival… like a sale at Kohl’s or Michael’s. But beyond that, I am just too busy to be looking through those whole 4 pieces of mail & set things aside to make my husband’s life a tad easier. I mean, I’ve got nails to file and eyebrows to pluck for goodness sake! I can’t be taking 5 minutes out of my hectic schedule to save us from having our electricity cut off!
Well, God pricked my heart and said in that still small voice, “Christy, you are this man’s help meet. I have made you to be a helper suitable for him and you are not fulfilling your calling.”
And of course, He is right.
Ladies, I’ve become slack in my calling as a wife. My heart has been infiltrated by my own desires and selfishness. And I’ve got the actions and attitude to prove it. Lately, my husband has been more of a help meet to me than I’ve been to him and it’s shameful.
I tried to think back to when the last time was that I anticipated my husband’s needs… I could not remember. How long has it been, I wonder? How long has my husband been working through this life, this marriage, without a help meet? I honestly do not know. I don’t know when it happened or how. But my reset button has been pushed.
Thank you, Father.
If God has blessed you with a husband, may I just encourage you for a moment to evaluate your level of excellence in this area of being a help meet to him. The only thing we are to place above our relationship with our husband, is our relationship with God. Our calling as a wife, a help meet, is a top priority to God. God desires us to see to the needs of our husbands: emotionally, physically, and spiritually. He wants us to put aside our own agendas, desires, and needs and help our husbands with theirs. God tells us this in two separate passages…
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Ephesians 5:22 KJV
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Colossians 3:18 KJV
God does not repeat Himself on accident.
This must be important.