Stoke That Fire

Last year I wrote the following as a guest post on another blog (I cannot remember what blog at the moment). Anyways, I was thinking of this the other day, and thought to myself, “Self, you should totally share that with your truffles.” And since I’m nothing if not completely obedient to myself, I’m here to do just that.

WARNING: The following post has to do with adult topics. Husband and wife stuff, if you get my drift. It was not written to offend, but to help get those wheels of creativity oiled and turning in those wifey brains.

It’s been almost a year since I wrote this, and boy have I gotten lazy! So, this post is as much for me as it is for you!

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STOKE THAT FIRE

My husband and I have been married for nearly 14 years now, so as you can imagine, our fire needs a little stoking every now and then. I’ve employed many different tactics over the years to keep the flame alive between my hubby and I. Some of these tactics have definitely been more successful than others.

If you are on twitter at all then you’ve probably noticed the mass amounts of twitter bimbos that stalk the Twitterverse. Truly, it’s sickening how many scantily clad avatars I block in a day. A few weeks ago a light came on in my head. I thought, “If I’m getting all these pornographic invites on twitter then so is my hubby!” So I did what any self-respecting Christian wife would do… I started obsessing over my husband’s followers list. Whenever I come across a twitter bimbo that is attempting to prey on my husband, I hack into his account and block her before he gets the chance to see!

Some of you are probably thinking that I have stepped over a line here. But let me remind you that men are stimulated by sight. ALL men. Believing your husband is any different is just plain naive. There is nothing wrong with protecting your property, and that is what your husband is, ladies, he belongs to you. I admit I am vicious when it comes to protecting my marriage. And why shouldn’t I be? Only my relationship with God should be valued above my relationship with my husband.

Anyway, it might make you feel better to know that I confessed to my husband that I had been blocking on his behalf. And do you know what? He didn’t care one single bit (I knew he wouldn’t). In fact, he found it rather amusing! Oh, how I love that man!!

“Why am I telling you all of this?” you are probably wondering. Well, because it was precisely this series of events that inspired my current keeping-it-burning method. You see, I realized that it wasn’t enough for me to simply block the bimbos I find on twitter. This world is crawling with lustful women lurking in the shadows, watching and waiting for that under appreciated husband to happen by. So, I decided it was time to give those women some very heavy competition…

I created a protected X-rated twitter account to mercilessly tease my dashing husband with… Yes. I. Did! I tweet him details about sexy dreams I have (yes, sometimes I just make stuff up, but who’s gonna know?), if I’m thinking about him, or my plans for a steamy evening together. The point is, I make sure he knows that he is wanted, desired and loved… by me. And the results have been fabulous! I mean, he’s always wonderful, but the very first day I started this, I got an invitation for a weekend getaway for two! Not to mention the HUGE smile on his face when he came home from work that day…

A  few important things to remember if you are going to do this:

1. Your updates ARE NOT protected until you go into the settings and make it so.

2. Though your updates will be private, your avatar will be available for public viewing, so keep it PG.

3. Nothing you send into cyber space is ever completely private & confidential. So tweet with that in mind!

4. Have fun with it and… ahem… be prepared!

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Okay, so that wasn’t so bad, right?

I’d love to hear your thoughts, feelings, and ideas on this!

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By the way, have you entered this giveaway yet?